Posted in Blog

I’m Out, But I’m In It For Nan

I’m back!

It’s been awhile.

It seems that this is the year that I’m falling out with family instead of friends.

Unfortunately there have been ripples of tension within my extended family (my uncles). Therefore, I’ve been drawing away from them in order to protect my physical and mental health. During this point, I’ve been developing relationships with my youngest girl cousin – who has now become like a little sister to me – and nan, because not only do I love them unconditionally, but they appear to be the only people who actually care about my physical health. Even my nan at 85-years-old, told me off for not eating properly, because I was worried about her and she forced me to apologise to myself!

My cousin, her brother and I think my nan is being abused by my uncles and aunt, but unfortunately there is nothing that we can do because Social Services have now failed us.

An 85-year-old woman imprisoned in a bedroom by a mentally imbalanced daughter (my aunt). The house is in disrepair, my aunt is also a controlling hoarder.

My uncles are enabling it, and I suspect, keeping my nan’s finance’s from her.

But I’m just an “outsider” – this is what I got labelled, as well as a child when I called out my uncles and aunt, for their despicable behaviour.

All of this has had an effect upon my epilepsy, as you can imagine. Two weeks ago, there were a few days where I couldn’t get out of bed due to seizures and exhaustion.

The change in relationship with my uncles forced me to make a change in relationship of my own. I needed my mum, so I called her on Monday. I surprised even myself, but it was good to hear hear voice. And during this time, she’s being the mum I need her to be. She’s concerned for my safety, she’s concerned for my wellbeing, and most importantly, she concerned for my health.

It’s all I ever wanted.

I also came out to her, and she didn’t reject me. She was surprised, but not angry, nor religiously spiteful or spitting blood down the phone….

… Barriers are still up though.

XOXO

Author:

I’m Cece Alexandra and I have Epilepsy. Since being diagnosed, my life has changed significantly. After studying and teaching Humanities and Literature for all of my adult life, I was bullied and lost my job a month before qualifying to become an English Teacher. Once you fail the Teacher Training course in England, you cannot ever retrain; I then became too sick to work because of my Epilepsy. I am now currently studying an MSc in Mental Health Psychology with the University of Liverpool. My disability provokes me into raising awareness for invisible disabilities, which I also actively partake in with Epilepsy Action. Part of that awareness is to help fight against invisible disability discrimination - I believe that this behaviour is not cognitively unconscious; modern society is actively partaking in a hierarchy of disabilities and I believe that there is not enough psychological research to prove this. I am also clinically interested in Cultural Psychology - particularly Collectivist Culture, and wish to pursue this further in my academic career.

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