I’ve had an extremely exhausting week emotionally, as well as mentally and apart from working on a project for uni I’ve completely shut myself off from the rest of the world.
My partner and I almost broke up this week because it’s been a struggle.
I’m currently watching the TV series “Lore” on Amazon Prime and I’m on the second episode about lobotomies. I’m so mortified, I had to take a break to come and to the toilet and be sick halfway through. An ice pick in the eyes??? Why do movies and old skool cartoons pretend that it’s some kind of brain swap, or brain on the shelf thing, when it was actually even worse than that?
And why is mental health still something that is so misunderstood even now? The narrator was exclusively talking about the brain, when mental health is about the mind too. It’s like a battle of the two. Sometimes that’s the problem.
And with the way the system works now, dishing out anti-depressants is almost like being lobotomised in a way…
My main issues this week are to do with being so poorly let down and I’m beginning to want to live an apathetic life, which is in contrast to my personality, but I’m exhausted. I’m a minority in every single sense with nobody standing up for me.
I try to be grateful for what I have, but let’s be real:
I started off the year with a career, money, independence, friends, prospects, goals..
Now, I may have goals, but I don’t have anything else, apart from love.
My friends all got tired and deserted me because depression is boring (including the ones from a recent post. These recent weeks have been a burden to them).
And the rest you already know about.
Anyway, I’m going to go back and watch “Lore”.
Perhaps an old skool cartoon lobotomy would be a good idea, to feel apathetic and not feel guilty about it either…🤔