Posted in Blog

Rapist Sympathisers a.k.a. BITCHES

I used to be a huge fan of the Backstreet Boys.

For my eleventh birthday, we had barely any money because my father had just walked out on us, however my mother knew how much I loved them and wanted their first album, therefore found the money to buy it for me. It’s still my favourite birthday present. The wall adjacent to my bed was plastered in posters of them all, from Top of the Pops and Smash Hits magazines, so that every morning I could wake up, sit up and see all of their faces! And I made sure to get all of their albums. Unfortunately, I never did get to see them live. Coming from a strictly religious home, being allowed to have posters on my wall was pushing the limits enough.

 

Anyway, then Westlife came along and it was a battle of the bands before the Irish lilt eventually won me over and their posters slowly took more and more space across my wall. Oh the stresses of being a teen!

 

Nick Carter was never my favourite member of BSB if I’m honest; I’ve never been a fan of a pretty boy, plus I always found him slightly arrogant compared to the others who always seemed to come across as slightly more humble – even if it was manufactured. One of my BFFs in Secondary School at the time hated me for it, because Nick was the love of her life and couldn’t understand how I could be so judgemental, however I stood my ground. My favourite was Brian, he was sweet and had the best voice.

 

On early Wednesday morning, when I read Melissa Schuman’s blog post about what Nick Carter had done to her, I didn’t doubt her for a second, not only because I myself have been abused and sexually assaulted, but also because I am a woman and stand in solidarity with Melissa. It didn’t matter to me that I’d never heard of Melissa before somebody had retweeted the post on my timeline, but I had heard of Nick; it didn’t matter that there were spelling mistakes in the post that might make somebody question it genuinity; it didn’t matter that the assault had happened fifteen years ago but Melissa had only opened up about it now; it didn’t matter that Nick was denying it; it didn’t matter that there were no witnesses and no proof.

 

I believed her.

Melissa Schuman and Nck Carter-tmz-getty-4

(Image source)

On my Facebook profile, I shared the post and a friend and I were talking about it, both agreeing that we believed Melissa.

Another friend had also shared the post. As a huge BSB fan in her thirties, she was conflicted about who to believe, because “the fifteen-year-old in her wanted to believe Nick”; she felt that as a massive fan she “knew Nick” and her and her friends began debating and dissecting the blog post. Most of her friends disbelieved Melissa and my friend seemed to be swayed. I’d already said my piece on her page, while simultaneously talking on my own profile to my other friend who agreed with me, however she then came onto my page to agree with us, as if she was trying to save face in-front of me. Then she went back on her profile, to carry on defending Nick to appease her friends. I was shocked. She soon became defensive and also said that we had a right to judge Melissa on social media. Her friends decided to explain to me that this wasn’t a courtroom and one of them even explained to me how a courtroom works, which I found extremely patronising (considering that I studied Law in College). When I said so, one of them mocked me by saying:

 

“Oh look, she knows things!”

 

I decided that it was time to leave the conversation, where without me present they continued to mock me.

 

Not once did my friend stick up for me.

 

I couldn’t believe that a group of women in their thirties were behaving like this. Just because they didn’t want to believe that a man that they used to worship as a teenager, and that they still worship now because their lives are so pathetic that they can’t let go of their crushes, they would rather sympathise with a suspected rapist than a victim.

 

I had to block this now ex-friend on all social networking sites.

 

I also stuck up for this ex-friend, when we both used to work together, which is in fact how met; When I was diagnosed with Epilepsy I was working for a bitch of a Head Teacher as her PA and Office Manager and she not only bullied me, but also the rest of her staff – particularly this one woman (the ex-friend) relentlessly: for her weight, her children, her work ethic, her intelligence, anything she could think of about her to pick on. We worked together for a short space of time and in my quest for standing up for myself, I also stood up for my team – which actually made things worse for me – regardless of being incredibly sick. In the years that we’ve been friends, she’s always been thankful for what I did – today, however, she told me that we only worked together for two weeks, most of which I was sick, so it’s not a big deal. In other words, get over it. She then sent her mother after me to harass me on Twitter too, because even though I was in bed today recovering from a seizure from three days ago (which she knew), she still needed to send her mummy after me to tell me off.

 

This is what women like this are like: victim blamers, rapist sympathisers, passive aggressive bullies, who pretend that they can’t fend for themselves, but when push comes to shove and they see another women in need, a victim, they will always side with the man.

 

We don’t need these bitches.

XOXO

 

 

 

Author:

I’m Cece Alexandra and I have Epilepsy. Since being diagnosed, my life has changed significantly. After studying and teaching Humanities and Literature for all of my adult life, I was bullied and lost my job a month before qualifying to become an English Teacher. Once you fail the Teacher Training course in England, you cannot ever retrain; I then became too sick to work because of my Epilepsy. I am now currently studying an MSc in Mental Health Psychology with the University of Liverpool. My disability provokes me into raising awareness for invisible disabilities, which I also actively partake in with Epilepsy Action. Part of that awareness is to help fight against invisible disability discrimination - I believe that this behaviour is not cognitively unconscious; modern society is actively partaking in a hierarchy of disabilities and I believe that there is not enough psychological research to prove this. I am also clinically interested in Cultural Psychology - particularly Collectivist Culture, and wish to pursue this further in my academic career.

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