Posted in Blog

Drowning in Whiteness


I am angry and heartbroken.


Before I became woke I isolated myself from people of colour unintentionally, and now I log onto Facebook, and I am surrounded by white faces who differ in priorities. Yesterday, I spent pretty much the entire day on Twitter, trying to find out as much as possible about what was happening on the other side of the pond, perhaps because as a person of colour what happens in Charlottesville affects me too. I found solace in Twitter, being able to share the experience with other people of colour – especially in the UK.

Owen Jones gave an accurately passionate analysis on Sky News this morning on the alt-right: we shouldn’t be calling them the “alt-right” any longer We should call them for what they are – Nazis, Extremists, Terrorists. He also said that in the US alone, there had been three times as many terrorist attacks by these extremists groups, than by Islamist terrorists, and yet the mainstream media constantly fails to report any of this.

And this isn’t just happening across the Atlantic, let’s be real here – it’s happening here too. We have our own Nazi Extremist Terrorists here. They’re mowing down Muslims outside their mosques; They’re in the police force killing our black children; They’re teaching our children in schools that black is inferior to white, that white children are smarter, therefore stimulating the mental health problems they’ll struggle with for the rest of their lives; They’re sexually assaulting our black women in bars, clubs, and on the streets; They’re out in packs in the suburbs, shouting out abuse at night in the streets, so mothers are standing in their kitchens afraid that their black sons are going to be lynched at night. And the institution allows this all to happen.

These people all know that white supremacy is going to protect them.

This is all happening in Britain TODAY. So as many people of colour on Twitter have been saying, for all of the British people who watch the news with disconnection and think: “ah, well at least we’re not that bad!” 

You are. 

I woke up this morning, and the “Brexiters” who had finally caught up with the news were already in full force, using the anger of Black people as justification for their racism. The police protected the white supremacists in the violence, yet people of colour were vilified for protecting themselves.

I’m losing friends, because until I was woke, I’d unconsciously surrounded myself around white people, and now I’m being told to shut up because I want to speak openly about the persecution of my people.

Shut about about your disability, shut up about your race issues.

These aren’t our problems.

To them, Charlottesville isn’t a priority, because it’s too far away and the victims are too dark. A twelve year old boy was mown down and killed by a Nazi in Charlottesville yesterday, and yet NOBODY on my timeline is hashtagging support or condolences. To me, this only goes to show the depths of institutional racism within our country, and I really do not care if I offend people now, because I am so angry. Really angry. You’re all going about your Sundays, like it’s any other Sunday, when it really isn’t.

Because these aren’t your problems.
(Correction 15/08: Chyna Fox (YouTube & Facebook VLogger) said that a 12 year old was killed in the protest. This has since been proven to be false.)


My body remains on the sidelines watching, while my mind roams around the room, taking in the world around her. I am a wallflower. There could be two reasons for this: It could be due to me being an introvert or just that I am a Cancerian! I’m Cece Alexandra and I am so honoured that you’ve been led to delve into my thoughts here in this blog! I would describe myself as a Wallflower which is why I use words to express my deepest – and sometimes darkest - thoughts. Words have always been my strongest method of expressing myself. Growing up I always wanted to be a writer, however life and circumstances chipped away at my confidence until there was nothing left. Without words, I could no longer express myself. I am also Epileptic. Since being diagnosed, I have realised that my deepest fear is the day I am finally on my deathbed, haunted by the overwhelming regret that I never achieved my God-given potential. This realisation forced me to take a step of faith and put myself out there. Yes it makes me vulnerable, however within the process I not only want to be an inspiration to myself; I want to be an inspiration to other women – to be whatever you want to be. Embrace the fear and doubt and utilise that as the fuel you need to push through! Life is for living to the fullest. Life is for loving, for living true to yourself and to the people around you. Life however, can also be crippling, dark and overwhelming. But you are not alone. This thought alone is what will help you get up from the ground.

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