Posted in Blog

Dark Shadows: New Horizons

During my suspension, I’ve been spending a lot of time on the couch re-watching Mad Men.  My least favourite character has always been Betty Draper/ Francis:

Betty Draper

(Jeff York (C) 2015)

She reminds me too much of my own mother. During this season, Betty’s also gotten fat… I’m not going to lie… the bitch in me delights in this after watching her put her skinny little arse before her children for four seasons…

Betty Draper Thanksgiving Dinner

(This Thanksgiving dinner! Hahahahahaha)

… You would think that I could at least sympathise with Betty, she clearly has mental health issues, but….. *thinks*….  nah.

However, I saw her in a new light today when she said this to her second husband Henry Francis in Episode 9 “Dark Shadows” of Season 5:

You’re always thinking about other people, and then you’re angry because no one’s thinking about you.

Leo Double Take.gif

(Hold up… that was Betty Draper??!!!?!?!?!?!??!?!)

I admire Henry Francis: he took on A LOT of shit when he took on Betty. I’m not defending Don Draper as a husband. Furthermore women as a collective, during the 1960s, faced a huge amount of torture. However, despite the masculine cacophony the majority at least attempted to make life better for themselves and their children, while Betty as a mother is just a monster who very evidently takes her own unresolved childhood issues out on her children and while Don manipulated this, Henry took this on, faced it head on and helped her. Unfortunately, he probably won’t ever alter my perceptions of Betty – as I said, she reminds me too much of my own mother, however for her to finally recognise enough how much Henry does for other people, and how little he gets in return for it and also recognise his anger for that, is pretty awesome.

 

This is something that I have been dealing with, because I’m constantly thinking of others. It’s something it seems that I was born to do. From a young age I was doing it for my family and now I do it instinctively, so much so that I forget that not everybody else does it too, and if they don’t that doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t care. However, that doesn’t invalidate my anger.

 

Betty then went on to say:

It’s so easy to blame our problems on others but really we’re in charge of ourselves.  

 

I’ve come to a massive crossroads in my life. I’ve now become too sick to work – that is very much clear, therefore I cannot look for another job. Therefore I’m going to have to claim benefits.

I’ve also decided that it’s time to find my own place. As much as I love my partner, I can’t live with him anymore because I need my own space and my independence, and the stress of living with somebody else while so ill is actually more detrimental to my health than its worth.

This doesn’t mean however, that we’re breaking up.

 

It’s incredibly scary because I’m not going to have a job, yet I’m looking for somewhere to live on my own?

Am I crazy?

Yes. Yes I am!

But it’s also the first decision I’ve been able to make in the last few months that makes me feel pretty damn good.

 

It feels bloody good to be taking charge and soon also take charge of my own happiness.

Author:

My body remains on the sidelines watching, while my mind roams around the room, taking in the world around her. I am a wallflower. There could be two reasons for this: It could be due to me being an introvert or just that I am a Cancerian! I’m Cece Alexandra and I am so honoured that you’ve been led to delve into my thoughts here in this blog! I would describe myself as a Wallflower which is why I use words to express my deepest – and sometimes darkest - thoughts. Words have always been my strongest method of expressing myself. Growing up I always wanted to be a writer, however life and circumstances chipped away at my confidence until there was nothing left. Without words, I could no longer express myself. I am also Epileptic. Since being diagnosed, I have realised that my deepest fear is the day I am finally on my deathbed, haunted by the overwhelming regret that I never achieved my God-given potential. This realisation forced me to take a step of faith and put myself out there. Yes it makes me vulnerable, however within the process I not only want to be an inspiration to myself; I want to be an inspiration to other women – to be whatever you want to be. Embrace the fear and doubt and utilise that as the fuel you need to push through! Life is for living to the fullest. Life is for loving, for living true to yourself and to the people around you. Life however, can also be crippling, dark and overwhelming. But you are not alone. This thought alone is what will help you get up from the ground.

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