Posted in Blog

Time to Run My World

This is a very QUICK update! 

So…. My life has been spiraling; everything has been spinning out of control, which is why I’ve decided to take some back. Tomorrow I’m going to start a dairy free diet, and also try to drastically cut back on my sugar. 

Now, for those who know me well, you know that I am a cheese fiend (even though I’m both lactose intolerant AND allergic to dairy!) PLUS I also eat at least one bag of sweets a day…… 

Now, sugar (in moderation) is incredibly helpful for seizure recovery (as in, to give to somebody when they have just had a seizure) however, if you’re scoffing it by the truckload as I do on a daily basis, it is also known to be a major trigger, as is dairy. 

Stress is also a trigger, however at the moment there is not much I can do about that. I’m still having major issues with work, which is making me incredibly ill: just this week alone I’ve had two generalised seizures (grand mals) and three or four complex partial seizures, because of the torment I’m going through with work. It frustrates me even more that I cannot talk about it. 

Which is why I need to do something, instead of wishing I was dead every day. 

Therefore… The picture you see above you, might be my last EVER bag of sweets…

And now I won’t get to indulge in this ridiculously expensive cheddar I bought on Friday…. 

(WHY GAWD WHYYYYYYY???!!!!!!)

These crème brûlées could be my last……

And what shall become of these unfinished bars of chocolate..?

(DISCLAIMER: Yes at this point, I did raid my flat looking for any dairy and sugar-related items LOL)

I’ve also booked myself in for a meditation taster session in South London somewhere tomorrow afternoon….. 

… And I still have the Headspace app on my phone… 

… More on that tomorrow…. 

… Once I’ve recovered from my last dairy and sugar binge bitches!!!!!

xoxo

Author:

My body remains on the sidelines watching, while my mind roams around the room, taking in the world around her. I am a wallflower. There could be two reasons for this: It could be due to me being an introvert or just that I am a Cancerian! I’m Cece Alexandra and I am so honoured that you’ve been led to delve into my thoughts here in this blog! I would describe myself as a Wallflower which is why I use words to express my deepest – and sometimes darkest - thoughts. Words have always been my strongest method of expressing myself. Growing up I always wanted to be a writer, however life and circumstances chipped away at my confidence until there was nothing left. Without words, I could no longer express myself. I am also Epileptic. Since being diagnosed, I have realised that my deepest fear is the day I am finally on my deathbed, haunted by the overwhelming regret that I never achieved my God-given potential. This realisation forced me to take a step of faith and put myself out there. Yes it makes me vulnerable, however within the process I not only want to be an inspiration to myself; I want to be an inspiration to other women – to be whatever you want to be. Embrace the fear and doubt and utilise that as the fuel you need to push through! Life is for living to the fullest. Life is for loving, for living true to yourself and to the people around you. Life however, can also be crippling, dark and overwhelming. But you are not alone. This thought alone is what will help you get up from the ground.

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