Posted in Blog

Living

Living with a boy is pretty cool, because of the following:

  1. A new wardrobe! I now have an extra set of clothes I can go to when I run out of things/ get bored of my own! Like on Monday morning I wanted a jumper and just borrowed one of his. I also very frequently borrow his hoodies and t-shirts. I’ve turned into a classic girlfriend type, but to be fair, his t-shirts do rock with my nineties ripped style boyfriend jeans!
  2. Flowers just because… Last weekend he went out to buy some supplies for brunch and came back with flowers for me… just because! 
  3. Setting up a home with somebody, which is something I’ve ALWAYS wanted to do! The first time we went to IKEA, I couldn’t wipe the delight from my face. We both take insane delight in buying things for our home. And there is no greater feeling than coming HOME at the end of the day. After having moved so many times since moving out of home to University, it’s nice to have a place where I finally feel safe.
  4. Getting to live with your best friend and boy all in one: there’s nothing better than knowing that after a shitty day at work you’re coming home to your bestie; you’re watching Broadchurch, Project Runway and Game of Thrones with your bestie; you’re sleeping next to your bestie.
  5. Nobody makes me laugh the way that I laugh with him.
  6. I don’t feel lonely anymore. As we come to Easter I think about my family, as this used to be a big holiday for us. The very first year we weren’t speaking I felt so alone, and yet I was in a relationship at the time. I had to schedule a day of activities for myself. I can’t even remember why I was alone.

Of course living with a boy isn’t 100% perfect 100% of the time.

  • My boy is addicted to Pepsi Max and therefore leaves endless empty bottles everywhere!
  • I also leave used tissues all over the place apparently lol (I was the kid with the sinus problems who never grew out of it).
  • I have to emotionally blackmail him to do his share of the house work haha.

On Sunday morning I have my first generalised tonic clonic seizure in perhaps a year: the stress of work probably brought it on. Obviously I was upset, and incredibly embarrassed because I’d probably woken up the entire block with my screaming in the aftermath.

But, when I did become aware of my surroundings, I knew exactly where I was: home. And I wasn’t afraid.

I also didn’t call out for my mum, which I’ve never done before.

These are huge steps forward, because it means that although not everything may be perfect right now with my health and my job, I’m where I need to be.

 

 

Author:

My body remains on the sidelines watching, while my mind roams around the room, taking in the world around her. I am a wallflower. There could be two reasons for this: It could be due to me being an introvert or just that I am a Cancerian! I’m Cece Alexandra and I am so honoured that you’ve been led to delve into my thoughts here in this blog! I would describe myself as a Wallflower which is why I use words to express my deepest – and sometimes darkest - thoughts. Words have always been my strongest method of expressing myself. Growing up I always wanted to be a writer, however life and circumstances chipped away at my confidence until there was nothing left. Without words, I could no longer express myself. I am also Epileptic. Since being diagnosed, I have realised that my deepest fear is the day I am finally on my deathbed, haunted by the overwhelming regret that I never achieved my God-given potential. This realisation forced me to take a step of faith and put myself out there. Yes it makes me vulnerable, however within the process I not only want to be an inspiration to myself; I want to be an inspiration to other women – to be whatever you want to be. Embrace the fear and doubt and utilise that as the fuel you need to push through! Life is for living to the fullest. Life is for loving, for living true to yourself and to the people around you. Life however, can also be crippling, dark and overwhelming. But you are not alone. This thought alone is what will help you get up from the ground.

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