Posted in Blog

You Should Quit


Earlier in the week, somebody asked me what it was like to be judged all the time for having a disability. 

My response was that it was okay because people find it difficult to understand epilepsy.

Immediately the person I was talking to became upset with me. Upset with ME. Upset with ME??!!!  

My defence was that I was used to it now. 

Their response was: “So? That doesn’t make it okay does it?”


And that person was right.


The following day, I was told by somebody else that I should quit my job because of my epilepsy. This person is senior to me in our workplace, and has never really asked me anything about my condition, other than why it causes me to have so many days off sick. This person throughout the conversation continued to ‘advise’ me to quit my job and furthermore inferred that I was not normal by saying that “normal people have only two days off sick a year, whereas you’ve had loads more than that.” I was also told that I am a burden to other members of staff. And this is not the first time that I have been told this by senior members of staff in a workplace.


When I become overcome with this condition, I begin to lose sight of why I’m fighting for awareness and why I should be using the little strength that I have to do so. I know that some see this blog as an attention-seeking purpose and nothing more, and on Monday when I was asked what it was like to be constantly judged, I realised that I’d never been asked that before. I also realised that I’d grown tired of fighting.


But that’s not me.


One of my many post-it not slogans on my desk is:


“be the person you needed when you were little.”


There’s still a little girl inside of me who needs somebody to speak up for her when nobody else would; when nobody was willing to stand up and make people listen.

It infuriates me to tears, that hidden disabilities are not recognised or not given the same amount of respect by the public – nor in fact, even our friends and families – as visible disabilities. Of course I recognise that discrimination comes in all shapes and sizes, however I have been bullied by the majority of my employers because of my disability. And there is very little help out there.


26th March will be Purple Day which is the International day for Epilepsy and unfortunately; I STILL don’t know what I’ll be doing for it yet. Due to all of the crap that’s been going on at work, I haven’t been able to do as much work so far on raising awareness… yet… but there’s still time. 


💜


Author:

My body remains on the sidelines watching, while my mind roams around the room, taking in the world around her. I am a wallflower. There could be two reasons for this: It could be due to me being an introvert or just that I am a Cancerian! I’m Cece Alexandra and I am so honoured that you’ve been led to delve into my thoughts here in this blog! I would describe myself as a Wallflower which is why I use words to express my deepest – and sometimes darkest - thoughts. Words have always been my strongest method of expressing myself. Growing up I always wanted to be a writer, however life and circumstances chipped away at my confidence until there was nothing left. Without words, I could no longer express myself. I am also Epileptic. Since being diagnosed, I have realised that my deepest fear is the day I am finally on my deathbed, haunted by the overwhelming regret that I never achieved my God-given potential. This realisation forced me to take a step of faith and put myself out there. Yes it makes me vulnerable, however within the process I not only want to be an inspiration to myself; I want to be an inspiration to other women – to be whatever you want to be. Embrace the fear and doubt and utilise that as the fuel you need to push through! Life is for living to the fullest. Life is for loving, for living true to yourself and to the people around you. Life however, can also be crippling, dark and overwhelming. But you are not alone. This thought alone is what will help you get up from the ground.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s