Posted in Blog

Whole

It’s been almost a year now since I last spoke to my mother.

 

I should be crying;

I should feel guilty;

I should be consumed with darkness.

 

But I’m not.

 

2016 has been an incredibly rough year for me, however throughout the pain, loss and tears, I’ve also found so much hope, love and grace from all corners of life.

 

It’s been almost a year since I last spoke to my mother and now almost two years since I last spoke to my sister. However, I feel free; I feel enlightened; I feel glorious and afraid at the same time because I’m constantly walking into the unknown, and yet the unknown will always be brighter than the places I’ve come from.

 

When I came to the end of my therapy sessions last month, as part of the “closure process”, we reflect upon the journey I’d been on over the course of the past 6 months or so; and I feel incredibly blessed for my experiences.

 

I’m an orphan, however I no longer feel abandoned.

I was persecuted by people I placed my trust in, and yet I’m now succeeding in a brand new career.

I gave up a relationship with fear, and gained a new relationship with love, laughter and beauty.

soulmate_quotes4

 

I still have days when I’m crippled by epilepsy, yet I wake up every morning and drag what’s left of my body into work, proving my haters wrong every single day I’m breathing.

 

2016 has been a bitch of a year and I can honestly say that I wouldn’t change a single thing.

 

Author:

I’m Cece Alexandra and I have Epilepsy. Since being diagnosed, my life has changed significantly. After studying and teaching Humanities and Literature for all of my adult life, I was bullied and lost my job a month before qualifying to become an English Teacher. Once you fail the Teacher Training course in England, you cannot ever retrain; I then became too sick to work because of my Epilepsy. I am now currently studying an MSc in Mental Health Psychology with the University of Liverpool. My disability provokes me into raising awareness for invisible disabilities, which I also actively partake in with Epilepsy Action. Part of that awareness is to help fight against invisible disability discrimination - I believe that this behaviour is not cognitively unconscious; modern society is actively partaking in a hierarchy of disabilities and I believe that there is not enough psychological research to prove this. I am also clinically interested in Cultural Psychology - particularly Collectivist Culture, and wish to pursue this further in my academic career.

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