Posted in Blog

The Mark

It’s funny how people have so much to say.

Recently I’ve been told that I’m not “mature enough” to be in a relationship (by a guy who was too flakey to be in a relationship with me and therefore his comments were in response to me telling him to sod off because I was tired of waiting on him).

A friend said to me that I’m looking for my identity in men instead of within the God who created me. She thinks that I’m not ready for any type of relationship.

How do people outside of yourself know what’s right for you? And how is it that we allow ourselves to be penetrated by these words, until they completely consume you?

It got me to thinking about mental health? Is it right to assume that anybody with mental health issues shouldn’t be allowed to be in a relationship?

Can we not be trusted to make judgements on a partner when our judgements are so impaired?

But then I put this question to you (which is the same question I posed to the friend): how is one supposed to learn about healthy relationships when they stay away from all? And this doesn’t just go for love, sex and marriage; I’m talking about friendships, work and family relationships too. How do you learn to have friends when you don’t have any at all? How would you know what it’s like to be in a family if you’ve never had one?

And then I put this question to you: does mental illness deem somebody undeserving of any type of relationship at all, just because they are messed up?


I’m Cece Alexandra and I have Epilepsy. Since being diagnosed, my life has changed significantly. After studying and teaching Humanities and Literature for all of my adult life, I was bullied and lost my job a month before qualifying to become an English Teacher. Once you fail the Teacher Training course in England, you cannot ever retrain; I then became too sick to work because of my Epilepsy. I am now currently studying an MSc in Mental Health Psychology with the University of Liverpool. My disability provokes me into raising awareness for invisible disabilities, which I also actively partake in with Epilepsy Action. Part of that awareness is to help fight against invisible disability discrimination - I believe that this behaviour is not cognitively unconscious; modern society is actively partaking in a hierarchy of disabilities and I believe that there is not enough psychological research to prove this. I am also clinically interested in Cultural Psychology - particularly Collectivist Culture, and wish to pursue this further in my academic career.

2 thoughts on “The Mark

  1. These are heavy questions. I”m afraid I don’t have all the answers, But I do know FOR SURE you are deserving of a relationship even though you are mentally ill. I am bipolar AF and I am happily married. Also, from some of your posts, I gather it is possible you are surrounded by assholes and need to meet new people. Good luck.

    1. Thank you 😘
      See for awhile I did believe myself that perhaps I was too ill for anybody to be able to commit to me, or even for me to be able to commit to anybody else! Throughout my last relationship I was so up and down and blamed myself but now that I’m out of it I’ve realised that he was actually to blame: he never made me feel secure and that made me crazy! I’ve met somebody new now and to go to bed knowing that when I wake up in the morning I’ll still hear from him because he won’t have freaked out and disappeared is an amazing feeling.
      And you’re right, I am surrounded by arseholes so now my new motto is if I’ve got haters that probably means that I’m moving in the right direction! I just need to learn to keep focused on myself and my goals!

      Sorry what does bipolar AF mean by the way? I’m FINALLY meeting the psychiatrist next week so I’ll be able to ask him all of these little questions and more!

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