Posted in Poetry

Below the Bar


As I fall into the same trap

I struggle against the bar;

It crushes me with its weight.

My head explodes;

My heart pulsates

Into my brain.

You did this…

Or did I do this to myself?

My hands are turning blue.

But how can I see,

As my gaze becomes a haze?

I’ve never been able to perceive

What lies ahead.

I endeavour to escape,

But the bar holds me tight.

Which breath will be my last?

Your face is my last;

I envision your smirk.

You have triumphed.

Your scheme comes to fruition.

I was gullible to your charm.

And now here I lay,

For the last time

And my last breath escapes

Before which you have already

Slithered on, to

Your next victim.


I’m Cece Alexandra and I have Epilepsy. Since being diagnosed, my life has changed significantly. After studying and teaching Humanities and Literature for all of my adult life, I was bullied and lost my job a month before qualifying to become an English Teacher. Once you fail the Teacher Training course in England, you cannot ever retrain; I then became too sick to work because of my Epilepsy. I am now currently studying an MSc in Mental Health Psychology with the University of Liverpool. My disability provokes me into raising awareness for invisible disabilities, which I also actively partake in with Epilepsy Action. Part of that awareness is to help fight against invisible disability discrimination - I believe that this behaviour is not cognitively unconscious; modern society is actively partaking in a hierarchy of disabilities and I believe that there is not enough psychological research to prove this. I am also clinically interested in Cultural Psychology - particularly Collectivist Culture, and wish to pursue this further in my academic career.

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