Posted in Blog

My Reality

Epilepsy makes people uncomfortable.
It scares people.

It’s strange and alien.

It’s demonic.

Some people see the word “epilepsy” as a dirty word.

Like the word “coloured”, people see it as acceptable to call “those things you have” as “fits” because that’s what they’ve always been called.

It doesn’t matter what I feel, or how frightened I am; that I detest being referred to as “possessed“; that people close to me will not call my “demon” by its name for what it is.
Admitting that I have epilepsy is not an admission of weakness – it is my reality. 

Not yours.

This is my condition.

Not yours.

You may be a witness to it, but you’re only the passenger; you can get off the bus anytime you want! However I’m the one stuck at the wheel.

This is my reality. 


My body remains on the sidelines watching, while my mind roams around the room, taking in the world around her. I am a wallflower. There could be two reasons for this: It could be due to me being an introvert or just that I am a Cancerian! I’m Cece Alexandra and I am so honoured that you’ve been led to delve into my thoughts here in this blog! I would describe myself as a Wallflower which is why I use words to express my deepest – and sometimes darkest - thoughts. Words have always been my strongest method of expressing myself. Growing up I always wanted to be a writer, however life and circumstances chipped away at my confidence until there was nothing left. Without words, I could no longer express myself. I am also Epileptic. Since being diagnosed, I have realised that my deepest fear is the day I am finally on my deathbed, haunted by the overwhelming regret that I never achieved my God-given potential. This realisation forced me to take a step of faith and put myself out there. Yes it makes me vulnerable, however within the process I not only want to be an inspiration to myself; I want to be an inspiration to other women – to be whatever you want to be. Embrace the fear and doubt and utilise that as the fuel you need to push through! Life is for living to the fullest. Life is for loving, for living true to yourself and to the people around you. Life however, can also be crippling, dark and overwhelming. But you are not alone. This thought alone is what will help you get up from the ground.

4 thoughts on “My Reality

  1. Make the negativity positive – I was once called a ‘Pavement Raver’ – They meant it in a bad way – I now use it in a positive way to disarm peoples unease with talking to me about my condition, as it is kinda funny! Great post BTW!

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