Posted in Blog

Fallacies and Tragedies

When you suffer from depression or a chronic illness, people become afraid of telling you the truth, in case they trigger something.

Another episode, another blow, another seizure.

However, where is the line between ‘protecting’ somebody and just keeping the truth from them?

When my relationship with my family really started to disintegrate, my mother and sister told me that they kept things from me because they were afraid of stressing me out and triggering seizures. They told me that they stopped calling me so as not to burden me, which then made me an even greater burden on them.

At work, I’ve missed out on certain opportunities because people didn’t want to cause me stress and worsen my condition.

The worst thing about epilepsy for me is the lack of control, which I’m pretty sure that most with the condition will wholeheartedly agree with. You have to put all of your faith and your life in the hands of doctors and tiny little pills (and God of course! I always forget to mention God in these posts… #awks). As you walk to work, you don’t know if a seizure is going to happen; luckily for me, my seizures come with an aura (a warning), however for some that doesn’t always happen. As the seizure happens, you have no control whatsoever over what happens to your body, or your mind; you have no control of the reactions of the people around you… on a good day you might be lucky enough to be around family and friends, but on a bad day you might be unlucky enough to be around pricks who push you aside and move away from you.

However, when you get to know your condition, you get to know yourself. You cannot always have full control, however you can learn how to learn to look after yourself and in some respects, this also goes for depression.

I am now one of those people who knows myself well enough to know when too much is too much for me. Therefore, if things are becoming too much for me at work, I am no longer too proud to say so at work and therefore, it offends me to know that people are making assumptions without first consulting me. And when friends and family hide things from you – not because they don’t want to talk (that’s an entirely different matter altogether) but because they have chosen not to and the sole reason is because of your condition, for me this is also offensive.

 

Therefore – at the risk of offending people with yet again another of my posts – when people tell you that they hide information from you in order to protect you, I call bullshit. Hiding the truth from somebody is lying; there is no reinterpretation of the word. A fallacy is a deception and using somebody’s condition to hide behind is for me, the worst kind of deception.

What a tragedy for you.

Author:

My body remains on the sidelines watching, while my mind roams around the room, taking in the world around her. I am a wallflower. There could be two reasons for this: It could be due to me being an introvert or just that I am a Cancerian! I’m Cece Alexandra and I am so honoured that you’ve been led to delve into my thoughts here in this blog! I would describe myself as a Wallflower which is why I use words to express my deepest – and sometimes darkest - thoughts. Words have always been my strongest method of expressing myself. Growing up I always wanted to be a writer, however life and circumstances chipped away at my confidence until there was nothing left. Without words, I could no longer express myself. I am also Epileptic. Since being diagnosed, I have realised that my deepest fear is the day I am finally on my deathbed, haunted by the overwhelming regret that I never achieved my God-given potential. This realisation forced me to take a step of faith and put myself out there. Yes it makes me vulnerable, however within the process I not only want to be an inspiration to myself; I want to be an inspiration to other women – to be whatever you want to be. Embrace the fear and doubt and utilise that as the fuel you need to push through! Life is for living to the fullest. Life is for loving, for living true to yourself and to the people around you. Life however, can also be crippling, dark and overwhelming. But you are not alone. This thought alone is what will help you get up from the ground.

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