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I’m not sure which I prefer…. Not being able to stay awake past 5pm, or not being able to get out of bed. Ever.


I’ve been on both Oxcarbazepine and Levetiracetam for just over a month now. Plus my anti-depressants. And hayfever tablets.


A lot of drugs.


My mother would have a fit if she knew.


My seizures have so far decreased in frequency, which is a dream come true, and the fact that it’s only taken just over two years in order to do this is incredible. At the moment, I’m no longer having generalised seizures and now, as opposed to having multiple complex partial seizures almost every day, I have one perhaps every few days.


When I first started taking Oxcarbazepine, I struggled to get out of bed, and I also struggled to get the Oxcarbazepine to control my seizures. Hence the introduction of Levetiracetam, however every dose increase of the Keppra (all the cool kids in the epilepsy circles refer to Levetiracetam by the name “Keppra”) brings a differing type of drowsiness. In the beginning it was struggling to stay awake past 5pm! I would get home from work, perhaps eat something (that’s another thing: the decrease in appetite. At times I was going to bed having barely eaten all day), falling asleep fully clothed and not waking up until the following morning! This would sometimes however pose the risk of missing my evening dose of medication, which could then trigger a seizure the following morning. (Epilepsy always knows how to keep you on your toes!)  And slowly I’m returning to the days of “morning slothness”: where getting out of bed is like trying to drag somebody else’s body out of bed PLUS your own, while gravity pulls you with such force, you feel that moving in itself should become an Olympic sport.


And this my friends, is how I’m feeling right now.


Oh, and Happy #NationalEpilepsyWeek


My body remains on the sidelines watching, while my mind roams around the room, taking in the world around her. I am a wallflower. There could be two reasons for this: It could be due to me being an introvert or just that I am a Cancerian! I’m Cece Alexandra and I am so honoured that you’ve been led to delve into my thoughts here in this blog! I would describe myself as a Wallflower which is why I use words to express my deepest – and sometimes darkest - thoughts. Words have always been my strongest method of expressing myself. Growing up I always wanted to be a writer, however life and circumstances chipped away at my confidence until there was nothing left. Without words, I could no longer express myself. I am also Epileptic. Since being diagnosed, I have realised that my deepest fear is the day I am finally on my deathbed, haunted by the overwhelming regret that I never achieved my God-given potential. This realisation forced me to take a step of faith and put myself out there. Yes it makes me vulnerable, however within the process I not only want to be an inspiration to myself; I want to be an inspiration to other women – to be whatever you want to be. Embrace the fear and doubt and utilise that as the fuel you need to push through! Life is for living to the fullest. Life is for loving, for living true to yourself and to the people around you. Life however, can also be crippling, dark and overwhelming. But you are not alone. This thought alone is what will help you get up from the ground.

2 thoughts on “Tired

  1. Keppra doesn’t make me feel drowsy, though I have a different type of epilepsy to you. I take it at night though, along with Lamotragine. I take my anti-depressants with breakfast, and try to use my clonazepam as little as possible, which is hard!

  2. I was talking to my GP about this because he said that my anti depressants are supposed to give you energy but I think it’s the combination of taking them all together that’s making me drowsy. Either that or I’m just getting old and using my epilepsy as an excuse to not face up to the grey hairs I see in the mirror Hahahahahahahaha
    What dose of Keppra are you on?

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