Posted in Poetry

The Forest

Running through the forest

Anything to stop the talking

Constant voices, distressed

Keep me running instead walking

Trees like adults stand tall

Closing in and cast darkness

I look up, so frail, so small

Shivering from the coldness

Keep running – is there a way out?

Trees so hard and dense

What happens if I shout?

What comes makes no sense

I came to stop the talking

To escape the past and truth

They follow me, stalking

My mania is the hard proof

The darkness closes in tightly

I stop to a panicked trot

Black as when eyes closed tightly

Will this be where I rot?

Tiredness pulls me in

This forest my demise

Punishment for all kinds of sin

That weren’t even mine

Legs buckle – here I fall

Buried by this coffin of wood

This last breath, my curtain call

In this forest I’m understood

My eyes close ready for sleep

When suddenly there’s a breeze

Gentle and calmly upon me it creeps

My lungs no longer wheeze

Heat embrace me – firm yet tender

As my eyes open I see it clear and bright

The sun floods as the darkness surrenders

My eyes flood at the sight

I made it through the tunnel

Beyond darkness, pain and despair

Finally I can stand beautiful and tall

Finally saved by the sun’s glare

Author:

I’m Cece Alexandra and I have Epilepsy. Since being diagnosed, my life has changed significantly. After studying and teaching Humanities and Literature for all of my adult life, I was bullied and lost my job a month before qualifying to become an English Teacher. Once you fail the Teacher Training course in England, you cannot ever retrain; I then became too sick to work because of my Epilepsy. I am now currently studying an MSc in Mental Health Psychology with the University of Liverpool. My disability provokes me into raising awareness for invisible disabilities, which I also actively partake in with Epilepsy Action. Part of that awareness is to help fight against invisible disability discrimination - I believe that this behaviour is not cognitively unconscious; modern society is actively partaking in a hierarchy of disabilities and I believe that there is not enough psychological research to prove this. I am also clinically interested in Cultural Psychology - particularly Collectivist Culture, and wish to pursue this further in my academic career.

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