Posted in Blog

Sticks & Stones

Family

This is something I wrote quite a few months ago. I didn’t think that I was brave enough to share it. Until now.

What are we without our family?

‘Family fight all the time! You’ll make up eventually!’

When you first fall out, you feel lost; the world is suddenly foreign to you; born facts turn into thriller fiction? What is true? What is not?

Words are said – the old saying goes “sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can never hurt you” – it’s all a lie. Harsh words from the people you grew up believing loved you unconditionally always cut the deepest.

As the climax of the narrative comes to a head, it becomes horribly apparent that their love has been conditional all along and suddenly you realise that no matter what you do to make things right, or to make it all an even keel, you will never be good enough; you’ll never meet the targets; you’ll never make the grades.

Some look and say ‘she’s stubborn. She should learn to turn the other cheek’.

Some look and think ‘blood is thicker than water and therefore she should cast it all aside and let bygones be bygones’….

…‘Be the bigger person’…

….‘Make it right before it all goes too far’…

…‘They’ll come around. Give them time.’

You’re looking in from the outside; you’re coming into the novel numerous chapters into the plot.

Only the author knows the beginning, the middle and the end.

Am I brave enough to finish this story?

Author:

My body remains on the sidelines watching, while my mind roams around the room, taking in the world around her. I am a wallflower. There could be two reasons for this: It could be due to me being an introvert or just that I am a Cancerian! I’m Cece Alexandra and I am so honoured that you’ve been led to delve into my thoughts here in this blog! I would describe myself as a Wallflower which is why I use words to express my deepest – and sometimes darkest - thoughts. Words have always been my strongest method of expressing myself. Growing up I always wanted to be a writer, however life and circumstances chipped away at my confidence until there was nothing left. Without words, I could no longer express myself. I am also Epileptic. Since being diagnosed, I have realised that my deepest fear is the day I am finally on my deathbed, haunted by the overwhelming regret that I never achieved my God-given potential. This realisation forced me to take a step of faith and put myself out there. Yes it makes me vulnerable, however within the process I not only want to be an inspiration to myself; I want to be an inspiration to other women – to be whatever you want to be. Embrace the fear and doubt and utilise that as the fuel you need to push through! Life is for living to the fullest. Life is for loving, for living true to yourself and to the people around you. Life however, can also be crippling, dark and overwhelming. But you are not alone. This thought alone is what will help you get up from the ground.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s