Posted in Blog

Urges

(Another treasure recovered in the tomb of diaries while sorting through my things)

This poem was written in September 2011 when I was still within the clutches of my depression and dealing with my various destructible distractions:

Trying so hard to ignore these urges

Trying not to give into these yearnings

Temptation creeps up on me day and night

My mind yells to me that it’s not right

My body screams out – “we must give in”

Consuming almost my entire being

If I give in it’ll take me to breaking point

And ignore the hand upon me – forcibly disjoint

I must remember that I’m chosen, loved, different, blessed

This is why I must pass the test.

Don't Fight With Temptation

Author:

I’m Cece Alexandra and I have Epilepsy. Since being diagnosed, my life has changed significantly. After studying and teaching Humanities and Literature for all of my adult life, I was bullied and lost my job a month before qualifying to become an English Teacher. Once you fail the Teacher Training course in England, you cannot ever retrain; I then became too sick to work because of my Epilepsy. I am now currently studying an MSc in Mental Health Psychology with the University of Liverpool. My disability provokes me into raising awareness for invisible disabilities, which I also actively partake in with Epilepsy Action. Part of that awareness is to help fight against invisible disability discrimination - I believe that this behaviour is not cognitively unconscious; modern society is actively partaking in a hierarchy of disabilities and I believe that there is not enough psychological research to prove this. I am also clinically interested in Cultural Psychology - particularly Collectivist Culture, and wish to pursue this further in my academic career.

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