Posted in Blog

Urges

(Another treasure recovered in the tomb of diaries while sorting through my things)

This poem was written in September 2011 when I was still within the clutches of my depression and dealing with my various destructible distractions:

Trying so hard to ignore these urges

Trying not to give into these yearnings

Temptation creeps up on me day and night

My mind yells to me that it’s not right

My body screams out – “we must give in”

Consuming almost my entire being

If I give in it’ll take me to breaking point

And ignore the hand upon me – forcibly disjoint

I must remember that I’m chosen, loved, different, blessed

This is why I must pass the test.

Don't Fight With Temptation

Author:

My body remains on the sidelines watching, while my mind roams around the room, taking in the world around her. I am a wallflower. There could be two reasons for this: It could be due to me being an introvert or just that I am a Cancerian! I’m Cece Alexandra and I am so honoured that you’ve been led to delve into my thoughts here in this blog! I would describe myself as a Wallflower which is why I use words to express my deepest – and sometimes darkest - thoughts. Words have always been my strongest method of expressing myself. Growing up I always wanted to be a writer, however life and circumstances chipped away at my confidence until there was nothing left. Without words, I could no longer express myself. I am also Epileptic. Since being diagnosed, I have realised that my deepest fear is the day I am finally on my deathbed, haunted by the overwhelming regret that I never achieved my God-given potential. This realisation forced me to take a step of faith and put myself out there. Yes it makes me vulnerable, however within the process I not only want to be an inspiration to myself; I want to be an inspiration to other women – to be whatever you want to be. Embrace the fear and doubt and utilise that as the fuel you need to push through! Life is for living to the fullest. Life is for loving, for living true to yourself and to the people around you. Life however, can also be crippling, dark and overwhelming. But you are not alone. This thought alone is what will help you get up from the ground.

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