Posted in Poetry

Insanity

Insanity

Sometimes I lose sight of the light through the despair


The world crumbles around me as it loses its flair


Losing my grip as life rips the illusion


To reveal the reality; the final conclusion


People going crazy running races into hell


Only to find too late that they were under a spell


Who do I trust? Is it really a must?


I’d rather keep to myself than succumb to the lust


My insanity in comparison gets me through the marathon


Standing motionless in puzzlement as life goes on


And on it goes when I crumble under the weight


Feeling alone as others accept their fate

Acceptance to race blindly down the wrong path

They look at me on the side lines and laugh

I’m the wallflower; they assume I’m afraid

That I should follow suit; take orders like a maid

They do not realise as a bystander I watch

Never judging but refusing to touch

As they walk into the darkness while I try

To change minds quickly before they completely fly

But this is not my battle to fight or win

The victory comes from above; always has been

Don’t think me judgemental when you see me stand by

I’m just preoccupied with dealing with my own insanity.

Author:

My body remains on the sidelines watching, while my mind roams around the room, taking in the world around her. I am a wallflower. There could be two reasons for this: It could be due to me being an introvert or just that I am a Cancerian! I’m Cece Alexandra and I am so honoured that you’ve been led to delve into my thoughts here in this blog! I would describe myself as a Wallflower which is why I use words to express my deepest – and sometimes darkest - thoughts. Words have always been my strongest method of expressing myself. Growing up I always wanted to be a writer, however life and circumstances chipped away at my confidence until there was nothing left. Without words, I could no longer express myself. I am also Epileptic. Since being diagnosed, I have realised that my deepest fear is the day I am finally on my deathbed, haunted by the overwhelming regret that I never achieved my God-given potential. This realisation forced me to take a step of faith and put myself out there. Yes it makes me vulnerable, however within the process I not only want to be an inspiration to myself; I want to be an inspiration to other women – to be whatever you want to be. Embrace the fear and doubt and utilise that as the fuel you need to push through! Life is for living to the fullest. Life is for loving, for living true to yourself and to the people around you. Life however, can also be crippling, dark and overwhelming. But you are not alone. This thought alone is what will help you get up from the ground.

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