Posted in Poetry

Insanity

Insanity

Sometimes I lose sight of the light through the despair


The world crumbles around me as it loses its flair


Losing my grip as life rips the illusion


To reveal the reality; the final conclusion


People going crazy running races into hell


Only to find too late that they were under a spell


Who do I trust? Is it really a must?


I’d rather keep to myself than succumb to the lust


My insanity in comparison gets me through the marathon


Standing motionless in puzzlement as life goes on


And on it goes when I crumble under the weight


Feeling alone as others accept their fate

Acceptance to race blindly down the wrong path

They look at me on the side lines and laugh

I’m the wallflower; they assume I’m afraid

That I should follow suit; take orders like a maid

They do not realise as a bystander I watch

Never judging but refusing to touch

As they walk into the darkness while I try

To change minds quickly before they completely fly

But this is not my battle to fight or win

The victory comes from above; always has been

Don’t think me judgemental when you see me stand by

I’m just preoccupied with dealing with my own insanity.

Author:

I’m Cece Alexandra and I have Epilepsy. Since being diagnosed, my life has changed significantly. After studying and teaching Humanities and Literature for all of my adult life, I was bullied and lost my job a month before qualifying to become an English Teacher. Once you fail the Teacher Training course in England, you cannot ever retrain; I then became too sick to work because of my Epilepsy. I am now currently studying an MSc in Mental Health Psychology with the University of Liverpool. My disability provokes me into raising awareness for invisible disabilities, which I also actively partake in with Epilepsy Action. Part of that awareness is to help fight against invisible disability discrimination - I believe that this behaviour is not cognitively unconscious; modern society is actively partaking in a hierarchy of disabilities and I believe that there is not enough psychological research to prove this. I am also clinically interested in Cultural Psychology - particularly Collectivist Culture, and wish to pursue this further in my academic career.

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